Why do you want to become an actor – are you naive or delusional ?

Famewhore, attention seeker, naive/delusional, unstable, childish – If you want to go to LA to become an actor you are obviously either one or all of these things. According to those certain kinds of people you encounter in daily life anyway! And although there’s no need to justify yourself to them, I do ponder sometimes why it is we have this unwavering desire to play dress up and pretend to be somebody else.

Why we voluntarily choose a life full of uncertainty, finanical instability and rejection.

Why Halloween or the local Theater Group on the side isn’t enough.

I watched The Silver Linings Playbook the other day and it reignited my inner discussion on what is normal and what isn’t, and how it relates to me and other actors and artists. Are we all crazy and delusional, or just hopeful?

I think it’s normal, and don’t see my choices as admirable or courageous or anything, because for me they didn’t feel like choices, they were nothing more than common sense.

But I doubt it’s within the 68% of normal in the Bell Curve about which life choices people make.

I don’t know if that says anything. I don’t know if sacrificing so much for something that statistically has such low odds of succeeding is a sign of strength and hope or of naivety and delusions.

I guess it depends on who you ask and most importantly, what the outcomes are.

If Nicole Kidman set off for Hollywood at 16 claiming she was going to be one of the biggest actresses and it didn’t pan out, she’d probably be called delusional. But since she did make it happen you’d now call it confidence.

Of course, setting out for LaLaLand claiming such a grand thing is a little crazy, but still: every actor going there must somewhere secretly believe that it’s at least a possibility.

I know I’d be lying if I said I didn’t believe that. I’d be more than happy just being able to make my living with acting, but that doesn’t mean I don’t dream of the grand things.

The big career and the selling screenplays and the taking care of my family.

And I don’t think those grand things are absolutely impossible. They have a small chance of happening, sure. But I don’t think in terms of impossible. I would have been a graduated psychologist by now if I did… (or let’s face it, one of the many unemployed university graduates!)

Does that make me crazy or delusional? Does that make every actor who feels the same crazy and delusional? Maybe.