Becoming happier in both your professional and personal life is simpler than you thought, and you can start right now by simply changing some habit’s. Life is all about patterns and it is easy to get yourself stuck in a rut and you can find yourself doing the same old habit’s day in day out. Today is the day to start doing things differently.
Being happier is easier than you thought, and it really is a case of subtraction, not addition. Stop doing the following ten things and see how your attitude is adjusted.
Happiness in 10 Simple Steps or Simple Stops
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STOP BLAMINGIt is so easy to blame other people when things go wrong. It’s easy to put the blame on someone else, and maybe it ‘helps’ you to feel better about yourself ….. but think about it, do you really feel better when you blame another person?
Couldn’t you also be to blame?
Start to take responsibility when things don’t go your way, focus on what went wrong and what you could have done to make things go right?
Blaming yourself isn’t a defeatist way of behaving, quite the opposite. Your new mindset will be empowering, and will give you the strength and wisdom to focus on doing it better or smarter next time.
Get better and smarter …. I guarantee you will also get happier. -
STOP IMPRESSINGStop trying to impress people.
People want to like you for you. They don’t like you because of the jobs you have done or the names you can drop. They won’t truly like you because of the money you’ve earnt for an advert, or because of your CV, or your possessions, or your clothes.
Superficial relationships are not real relationships.
The more you can build genuine relationships with people without feeling the need to have to impress the happier you will be.
It’s like a long term relationship, when the ‘impressing each other’ period is over, you both become more relaxed, assured, and content. Start being yourself and you and your friendships will become more relaxed, more assured and more content. -
STOP CLINGINGThe acting world can be full of insecurity and fear. We can so easily find ourselves clinging onto what we think is making us happier, even when that might not be good for us.
Yes, maybe what we are clinging to is making us feel safer because it is taking away the fear and the insecurity, but is that actually happiness?
Clinging to what you think you need is not making you happy – it takes a big brave leap but what you need to do is let go.
You need to let go so you can reach for what you truly want. You might not get it, you might not succeed, but you will never know if you don’t let go.
The act of trying will make you feel better about yourself. -
STOP INTERRUPTINGStop interrupting people.
Interrupting isn’t only rude, it is sending out a message that you are only listening to someone so you can get your own voice heard and not because you want to actually listen to what they have to say.
Try to listen to what someone has to tell you. Focus on what they are saying. Ask them questions so you really understand their message.
With true listening you will find your relationships and interactions become healthier. People will love you for listening and you will love how that makes you feel. -
STOP CONTROLLINGAs actors we can be treated as ‘the talent’, we can often be pampered and treated by others as all important and high status.
Don’t let this go to your head.
Don’t ever start controlling people, bossing them around, and believing your own hype. You are only showing them that you think you and your opinions are more important than theirs.
Controlling behaviour will require force, fear, authority and pressure, none of this is healthy and none of this will lead to happiness.
Keep your feet on the ground, remember who you truly are. Make others happier, help to make their job easier and more fun. You will all be happier. -
STOP MOANINGWhining will never lead to winning.
What you say and do not only affects others, it can make a lasting impression on you. Whining and moaning about your problems will never make you feel better, it will only make you worse.
If things are not going your way, as they often do in the actor’s life, don’t waste time complaining about it, be the type of actor who makes things happen. Put your effort into changing the situation.
You will need to address what’s gone wrong at some point, why put it off, do it now, fix it now. Wasting time whining solves nothing and life is far too short to waste it on complaining.
Stop talking about what’s wrong, talk about what will make it better.
Also don’t get pulled into friends whining and moaning conversations, don’t just be a shoulder to cry on. Friends will thank you if you are the type of friend who helps them to make their life better. -
STOP CRITICISINGStop judging yourself against others, and stop criticising their life choices, their talent, their opinions.
You might be more experienced, you might have trained at a better drama school, you might have a better resume, but does that really make you better than them?
It just makes you ‘you'; you are unique, you are individual, you are one of a kind, but in the end you are just you.
Just like they are themselves.
Respect their opinions, their choices, their path. Everyone is different. Appreciate the differences instead of judging and you will see things, people and yourself in a better light. -
STOP PREACHINGCriticising walks hand in hand with preaching, and they both live and play in the land of Judgment.
As you progress as an actor, build a CV and work with different directors and different actors you will begin to gather wisdom and experience.
Never make the mistake of thinking you know everything.
Keep your eyes and ears open to building your wisdom. Don’t shut off and try to tell people everything you know.
If you speak with finality people will hear you but they probably won’t listen to you. -
STOP DWELLINGSo you didn’t get that big role you were pencilled for. The show you have worked so hard on has been panned by the critics and is going to close early. The agent you strived to get has decided to let you go. Don’t let these bad things break you.
Don’t dwell on mistakes and problems.
It is easier said than done, but give it a try.
Shift your focus. When something goes wrong, think about what went wrong but think about it as a chance to learn. When someone else makes a mistake see it as an opportunity to be forgiving, understanding and kind.
Our past doesn’t define us, our past just trains us for the future.
Don’t dwell on the past, use it to prepare yourself for the future. -
STOP FEARINGFear is the biggest obstacle of all.
We are all afraid.
Afraid that we will never get the next job. Afraid that our auditions will dry up. Afraid that our agent has forgotten about us. Afraid that we will never truly succeed as an actor.
We are really afraid of what might or might not happen, of what we can not change, what we might not be able to achieve, and of how others see us.
The easiest way to deal with our fear is to hesitate. To wait for the right moment, to think a little longer, to explore different paths, to do more research.
If we live in fear we can allow days, weeks, months, and even years pass us by without action. Don’t let your dreams pass you by because of fear.
Don’t let fear and insecurity hold you back.
Whatever your plans, your ideas, your dreams are get started on them today. Take whatever the first step is right now after reading this article.
Put aside your fears and do it, do something, do anything.
Once tomorrow arrives, today will be lost forever.
Today is the most valuable and precious thing you own, it is the one thing you should truly fear wasting.
Count your age by friends, not years. Count your life by smiles, not tears.