Theatre Definitions – The Strange Language of the Thespian!

An Actors Dictionary_550
Photo Credit: Caleb Roenigk via cc
The Actor’s Vocabulary
Not sure of the origins on these theatre technical terms, but we certainly enjoy this list and hope you will too.
  • ETERNITY
    The time that passes between a dropped cue and the next line.
  • PROP
    A hand-carried object small enough to be lost by an actor 30 seconds before it is needed on stage.
  • DIRECTOR
    The megalomaniac individual who suffers from the delusion that he or she is responsible for every moment of brilliance cited by the critic in the review.
  • BLOCKING
    The art of moving actors on the stage in such a manner as not to collide with the walls, the furniture, the orchestra pit or each other. Similar to playing chess, except that the pawns want to argue with you.
  • BLOCKING REHEARSAL
    A rehearsal taking place early in the production schedule where actors frantically write down movements which will be nowhere in evidence by opening night.
  • QUALITY THEATRE
    Any show with which you were directly involved.
  • BAD THEATRE
    Every show with which you were not directly involved.
  • DRESS REHEARSAL
    Rehearsal that becomes a whole new ball game as actors attempt to manoeuvre among the 49 objects that the set designer added at 7.30 that evening.
  • TECH WEEK
    The last week of rehearsal when everything that was supposed to be done weeks before finally comes together at the last minute; reaches its grand climax on dress rehearsal night when costumes rip, a dimmer pack catches fire and the director has a nervous breakdown. Also known as ‘Hellweek’.
  • SET
    An obstacle course which, throughout the rehearsal period, defies the laws of physics by growing smaller week by week while continuing to occupy the same amount of space.
  • MONOLOGUE
    That shining moment when all eyes are focused on a single actor who is desperately aware that if he forgets a line, no one can save him.
  • DARK NIGHT
    The night before opening when no rehearsal is scheduled so the actors and crew can go home and get some well-deserved rest, and instead spend the night staring sleeplessly at the ceiling because they’re sure they needed one more rehearsal.
  • BIT PART
    An opportunity for the actor with the smallest role to count everybody else’s lines and mention repeatedly that he or she has the smallest part in the show.
  • GREEN ROOM
    Room shared by nervous actors waiting to go on stage and the precocious children whose actor parents couldn’t get a baby-sitter that night, a situation which can result in justifiable homicide.
  • DARK SPOT
    An area of the stage which the lighting designer has inexplicably forgotten to light, and which has a magnetic attraction for the first-time actor. A dark spot is never evident before opening night.
  • HANDS
    Appendages at the end of the arms used for manipulating one’s environment, except on a stage, where they grow six times their normal size and either dangle uselessly, fidget nervously, or try to hide in your pockets.
  • STAGE MANAGER
    Individual responsible for overseeing the crew, supervising the set changes, baby-sitting the actors and putting the director in a hammerlock to keep him from killing the actor who just decided to turn his chorus part into a major role by doing magic tricks while he serves the tea.
  • LIGHTING DIRECTOR(I)
    Individual who, from the only vantage point offering a full view of the stage, gives the stage manager a heart attack by announcing a play-by-play of everything that’s going wrong.
  • LIGHTING DESIGNER(II)
    One who whines, bitches, throws fits, and says “this is the last show I’m doing here ! I swear to God!” (rinse, repeat).
  • THE FOREBRAIN
    The part of an actors brain which contains lines, blocking and characterization; activated by hot lights.
  • THE HINDBRAIN
    The part of an actors brain that keeps up a running subtext in the background while the forebrain is trying to act; the hindbrain supplies a constant stream of unwanted information, such as who is sitting in the second row tonight, a notation to seriously maim the crew member who thought it would be funny to put real Tabasco sauce in the fake Bloody Marys, or the fact that you need to do laundry on Sunday.
  • STAGE CREW
    Group of individuals who spend their evenings coping with 50-minute stretches of total boredom interspersed with 30-second bursts of mindless panic.
  • ASSISTANT DIRECTOR
    Individual willing to undertake special projects that nobody else would take on a bet, such as working one-on-one with the brain-dead director on whom the rest of the cast has threatened to take out a contract.
  • STRIKE
    The time immediately following the last performance while all cast and crew members are required to stay and dismantle, or watch the two people who own Makita screw drivers dismantle the set.
  • ACTORS
    People who stand between the audience and the set designer’s art, blocking the view. That’s also the origin of the word “blocking,” by the way.
  • STAGE RIGHT, STAGE LEFT
    Two simple directions actors pretend not to understand in order to drive directors crazy. (“No, no, your OTHER stage right !”)
Just remember it’s only theatre until it offends someone . . . .

Then it’s ART!
We are delighted to republish Prof. John Palmer’s ‘Theatre Briefs’ series, Actor Hub hope you find them as useful as we have.
This series of short essays about acting is reprinted with the kind permission of Professor John P Palmer of London, Ontario, Canada. He wrote these ‘Theatre Briefs’ for use by students and fellow actors during classes and rehearsals. Where he has relied on material from others, they are cited.
These essays may be reproduced at no charge for non-commercial purposes. Just please acknowledge the original source (John Palmer) and his blog Eclectecon.
Also please retain the attributions included in the briefs.
You may not use these resources for commercial purposes.